They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
2020 sucks, I want a refund
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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