Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Soap is not a condiment
I think i peed on brittanys purse
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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