I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
