It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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