he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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