I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
