Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
