yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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