and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
