The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
