im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
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