my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I had to cum in my sink.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
