my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
