I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
