I got her a Nickelback box set.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
