i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
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