So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
