I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
