Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
