Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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