do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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