just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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