Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
