shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
