We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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