I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
