My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
