I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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