I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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