What a fucking waste of an outfit
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
