Sry I called you an 8
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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