I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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