In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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