Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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