And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
