Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
