lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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