Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
