pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
