Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
