guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
