Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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