I need help removing her.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
