Sponge bath it is.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
