Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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