yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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