how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
