my sisters under your porch take her home
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
