my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
