You work out of a Hotel?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
