i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
